Mental Reboot

I’ve spent quite a few weeks living in Hawaii this summer.  I do a fair amount of walking as it is my main mode of transportation here, and I like to get out and explore.  There is a certain spot in the park that for some reason has become my favorite place to sit – and when I say sit, I mean think, reflect, imagine, and other mind-wandering verbs.  This spot isn’t the most beautiful spot on the island, isn’t the most remote or serene, but something about it prompts me to sit there for many minutes.  It is a special place because Bill and I have spent some great time there together watching sunsets and listening to crashing waves. Don’t get me wrong, it is absolutely gorgeous and I’m extremely thankful for my time there, but what is it about that spot? Or is it that spot? 

When I was sitting out there yesterday, a strange thing occurred…there I was sitting in the “spot” relaxing and closing my eyes. What did I see when I closed my eyes and let my mind’s eye take over? My own back yard. Yep, here I am on one of the most beautiful places to visit and I’m picturing good ol’ Newhall.  It got me thinking. (Yes, I know, that crazy mind of mine working overtime again.)

So many people want to, and need to get away sometimes. We seem to reboot when we go somewhere beautiful or take a vacation from the day-to-day routine of our lives. Sometimes we need to walk away from the tiny fists that scramble and pound around in our heads, jacking up our thoughts and keeping us away from peaceful and nourishing thinking.

Not everybody has the opportunity to physically get away and get that needed reboot. We do all have the chance to mentally get away and use our mind’s eye to help us. Where is it that our minds take us? Is it a real place, an imaginary place, a place in a different time? I’m feeling pretty good these days. I have worked hard to be in a place of peace, of presence, and of thankfulness. I’m in this wonderful location, but that doesn’t mean that everything is perfect here. I’m still doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking (ha!), missing my kids, paying bills, dealing with crowds, worrying about fires at home, etc.

I guess yesterday, my mind needed me to see my yard. It is the place that brings me peace. I love my yard. It is beautiful, yes, and I spend a lot of time back there working to make it beautiful. I think what it is that makes it so special is that it is my home, my roots, my memories with my parents, my husband, my kids, and has been for over 50 years.

Have I lost you all yet?  Oh my gosh, I’m rambling and am so all over the place right now that I feel like a pile of confetti that just got picked up by a giant wind! Hmmmm….O.K.  So, I think what I’m trying to get at is this – your mind’s eye can take you anywhere if you let it. Where do you want it to take you? Somewhere you were in the past? A beautiful beach? Sitting in a ray of sun? It’s all up for grabs. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes, take some deep breaths, and go to that place. You can do it. Go to that special spot and spend some time there. You can see it. You really can. You can hear the sounds and smell the smells. On my trip into my back yard yesterday, I heard my wind chimes and the crazy crows; I could smell the jasmine near my bedroom and the gardenia near the den door. I saw the ripples in my pool and my new succulents.  I could feel the feeling I get as I walk out the den door, over the warm bricks, and seeing the sun as it peaks over the tack room in the morning. It’s just my yard. Nothing exotic, but it is where I go. Where sometimes I need to go.

Take advantage of your mind’s eye. We all have the ability to experience visual mental imagery. Get away. Reboot. And don’t worry about having to pay $100 if your suitcase is overweight.

Bathing Suit Terror

Bathing suit shopping. It can be a traumatic and disheartening experience.  I have always struggled with my weight, and the size of my thighs. My stellar genetics did not help in this circumstance one single bit.  Thunder thighs, cankles, lumps, bumps, oh so many lovely words to describe the legs that the women, and men (my dad had big-around thighs also) in my family history have become accustomed to.

So when it came time to stock up on bathing suits for my off-and-on trips to Hawaii this summer, I had no choice but to dive in (pun intended) and embark into the dark and frightening world of ….bathing suit shopping!

Since Jenifer and I are in the same boat (pun overload) we decided to make a trip to the mall, and vowed to not cry, stomp, throw things, or start bashing ourselves.  For those of you who know the ridiculousness of Kelly/Jenifer adventures this was one for the books. Two middle-aged, fun-loving, self-conscious, not Victoria’s Secret type, girls out on the town doing the most terrifying thing together. It started off pretty well.  We took it lightly. Tried on everything and poked our heads out of the dressing rooms for laughs, opinions, and encouragement. After a few hours, though, the fun adventure took a turn. We started to let the darkness take over, and soon like most bathing suit shopping trips, it became a chore, and the negative thoughts and feelings about our beautiful, but unappreciated, bodies took over and we were done.

So what happened? Did we gain 10 pounds while shopping?  Did more bulges appear?  Nope,  in the course of those three hours or so, the only thing that changed were the thoughts that we ourselves were dumping on us.  Of course Jenifer never said anything bad about me, it was me, I was the one changing the day with my thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less.  Yes, our bodies change over time.  I’m not a super-model, and my legs are covered with well-earned bruises and scars.  Have I contributed to the look of my body by not enough exercise and eating too much of the wrong thing? Absolutely.  Will I continue to try the best donut in every city that Roxanne researches?  Of course I will.  Will I give up an afternoon of reading on a beautiful turquoise water beach because I should be in the hotel gym? Absolutely not. 

Rachel Cosgrove, the owner of Results Fitness, and a woman who I look up to as an athlete, author, and business owner, wrote a piece on her legs once.  It is an eye-opening article that comes from her heart.  I reread it recently and it helped me to put things in perspective. http://rachelcosgrove.com/i-love-my-legs/

This 54-year-old body of mine is pretty darn awesome.  It lets me hike and see beautiful places that many will miss.  It allowed me to try paddle-boarding for the first time this week, It allows me to spend all day in my yard making it a beautiful place to enjoy, and it makes it possible for me to travel from city to city to see my kids and husband.  That alone is something to be grateful for.

Did I find a bathing suit? Yep.  Do I look amazing in it? Not really.  Am I out here in Hawaii wearing it almost every day and experiencing what the Universe has provided for me. Heck yes.  Aloha.

This one is for you, Julie

Write, write, write a blog.  In 2009 when I went back to college after a very extended break, I started a blog called Books and Leopard Shoes.  Like many things that I start, the blog quickly became something I didn't finish, and ultimately forgot about...after three posts.

I somewhat often have friends tell me that I should write a blog.  My down-the-road friend, Julie, is my biggest nag, oops, I mean encourager.  For some reason, my friends think I have something to say that people may be interested in reading. I'm not convinced, but I love to write and do have a lot of things going on in my brain, so here it goes.

Stay tuned for random thoughts, subtle and not-so-subtle posts that may be considered lectures, my feelings about life, travel adventures, and other words that spill out of my head in A Day in The Life...