I'm Writing a Book

Its 6:45 A.M. and my alarm has gone off for the second time today.  Its not because I’ve been hitting the snooze button since 5:30, its intentional.  I got up, set the alarm for an hour, and closed my eyes.

I just completed day four of a 90-day challenge – experiment – adventure, not really sure what the proper description would be, but I know it will be eye-opening. 

I’ve chosen to do three things every day for the next 90.  The first will be sitting quietly in meditation for one hour each morning.  An hour is a pretty long time.  You could get a cavity filled, watch two really dumb sitcoms, or get your film developed down at the drug store.

This new addition to my routine started on Sunday.  I know it’s going to be something that will open up my heart, sharpen my mind, and change my life.

Its interesting the sounds, smells, colors, light changes, thoughts, ideas, and memories that can be experienced by sitting uninterrupted with eyes closed for 60 minutes.

I will also be reading for 30 minutes each day, and writing for 30.  The reading part will be easiest for me.  Yes please, sitting and reading – sign me up.

The writing.  The writing is what I hope this new daily habit will open myself up to.  (Apparently its already working because I just finished my hour of meditation as I write this J.)

You see, I’m writing a book. There.  I said it.  I’m writing a book.  I am at a point in my book where I have encountered writers-block.  No, I haven’t gotten stumped on how to end the story, haven’t lost track of the character in the middle and aren’t sure which direction to turn next.  I haven’t written a single word.  That’s how blocked I am.  I have been “writing” this book of mine for years, but haven’t scribed a single word.  Boy, that really sounds ridiculous.  Its kind of like saying you’re running a marathon, but haven’t bought any running shoes and only own cowboy boots, or that you are going to make the world’s biggest afghan and don’t know how to knit, and haven’t figured out where to buy yarn.  Yes, that ridiculous.  What have I been doing?  Or more accurately, what have I NOT been doing?!  I have had countless people encourage me to write a book, some have offered such strong encouragement that maybe the word could be encourageTHREAT instead. 

I have every book-writing necessity there is.  I own an endless supply of yellow legal pads, ink pens from every business in Newhall, books on how to write books, books on how to find books on how to write books, books on why books on how to write don’t work, numerous desks in my house, a nice computer with the display set at 200% so I can see what I’m typing, Costa Rican coffee and inspirational coffee mugs galore.  Yes, I’m set up and ready to go.  Ready, set, screech….   At least that’s how it has been.  I’ve been blocking myself with every “ya but” there is. THE BUT STOPS HERE.  (ha! Get it? The but stops here?)

Everyone who wrote their first book didn’t know how ~ Kyle Cease

I’m taking steps, one step at a time. This 90-day adventure will be a great tool to open up my creativity.  I’m going to start each day with my heart and let the words flow.  Stay tuned….

Peaceful, Happy, Beautiful

Recently, a friend told me how great I look and asked if I had lost weight.  I had seen he and his wife a couple of weeks earlier also, and he told me that after Bill and I left their house, they commented on how good I was looking.  Interesting.  The fact is, I have gained weight, not a lot, but enough that it seems obvious that the weight is up not down. I also have not had my hair colored in quite a while.  Lets just say that my current hair color is well on its way to making it a great idea for me to be a skunk for Halloween this year.  Also, my dermatologist went on a freezing frenzy on me, leaving some scabbing and scarring on my face and ear. So, really, it’s a perfect storm of not-my-best look. So how on Earth could they think that I was looking great?

 It got me thinking about a dear friend who has recently gone through a beautiful transformation of her look.  And no, she has not done a single thing cosmetically.  My friend, Keri, has had a tough couple of years…no, she has had a tough decade. Actually, decade-plus.  Her husband passed away in May of 2015 after a lengthy battle with ALS.  She was wife, caregiver, mother, handyman, breadwinner, and anything else she needed to be to get through the day.  Six months after Jon’s death, her house was broken into, ransacked, and burglarized. She wasn’t able to go back to the house and was fortunate to have a wonderful friend welcome her into her home for nearly a year..  Her stress level had been through the roof for years.  She faced sadness, uncertainty, lack of sleep, and any other emotion you could think to insert.

Keri is a beautiful woman, and no one has a bigger, more giving heart than she does.  She has always generated love, but it has been just this past couple of months that I have seen her outside beauty glow and radiate.  Every time I see her I feel as if she is wearing a crown of sparkling stars.  Her smile lights up a room and her laugh; oh that laugh of hers. People want to be around her.  This beauty is not new to her, but reborn; a new birthday if you will.  I don't think its any coincidence that last week at a restaurant, after a funny mix-up about bread pudding (long story) the waiter brought Keri a birthday cupcake. Nope, not her real birthday, but definitely a birthday - a new day.  Just more proof that the Universe sees her transformation also, and is reminding us all that it will be o.k. and there will be light after the darkness. The lack of stress has taken years off of her appearance. The heartache, though it will always be there, has lessoned and joy has been coming back into her life – and it shows. 

Her face now looks relaxed and shines brightly.  She exudes peace and a sense of fun and playfulness.  It makes me happy to see her beautiful transformation. 

My mom passed away eight years ago Monday, and my dad 14 months later. Since that time I have been struggling to have my full life back. Without going into eight years of detail, lets just fast forward to the last couple of years when I have been making a conscious effort to be more peaceful, happier, and fulfilled. I have had counseling, taken workshops, gone to an herbalist, started using essential oils, used meditation, been surrounded by enormous amounts of love by friends and family, traveled, gardened, read, used creativity, and studied new types of spirituality.  It sounds exhausting, but it’s working, and I have enjoyed the journey.  I have recently felt so much better. I feel more open, more peaceful, and happier...thank goodness. My life is amazing and I love the space I’m in right now. My insides are feeling pretty darn good, and if that is showing on the outside, well then what a bonus.

I realize now that what my friends perceived as my weight-loss is also a bit of my own transformation. I think Keri and I are exhibiting some symptoms of inner peace.   

	Symptoms of Inner Peace   ~     Saskia Davis These are some of the most common symptoms of 'inner peace'... if you are       experiencing any or all of these symptoms.... you're doing something right! - A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences. - An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment. - A loss of interest in judging other people. - A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. - A loss of interest in conflict. - A loss of the ability to worry. - Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. - Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature. - Frequent attacks of smiling. - An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.